What Parents Need to Know About Eating Disorders in Teens
Understanding the signs, risks, and how to support your teen with love and care.
If you’re reading this, you may be wondering whether something is going on with your teen’s relationship with food or their body. That worry alone is enough to pause, get more information and seek support. Eating disorders in teens can be confusing and frightening for parents; you were not given a manual to know how to respond.
Eating disorders are not a choice, a phase, or something teens “grow out of.” They are complex mental health conditions that need early attention, care, and support. The good news? With early intervention and the right team, teens can heal and reclaim their lives.
Below is what parents need to know so you feel equipped, and know what next steps to take.
1. Eating Disorders Don’t Always Look the Way You Expect
Many parents imagine someone who is visibly underweight and refusing to eat. In reality:
Teens of all body sizes can have eating disorders
Many are high-achieving, perfectionistic, or “rule-followers”
Eating disorders often hide behind “healthy eating,” sports performance, or dieting
An eating disorder can present without weight loss at all
Red flags often show up in behavior, not appearance. Trust your instincts if “something feels off” even when everything “looks fine.”
2. Early Signs Can Be Subtle: Here’s What to Look For
Changes Around Food
Skipping meals or eating noticeably less
Cutting out entire food groups (carbs, fats, “junk food”)
Increased interest in cooking for others but not eating themselves
Avoiding family meals
Needing to know every ingredient or calorie
Emotional and Behavioral Changes
Irritability around food
Feeling overwhelmed by eating in social settings
Becoming withdrawn or spending more time alone
Rigid routines around exercise
Anxiety, shame, or guilt after eating
Difficulty concentrating or increased fatigue
Spending long periods of time in the bathroom, especially after meals
Body Image Concerns
Increased body checking (mirrors, weighing, measuring)
Negative self-talk about appearance
Comparing their body to others
If several of these feel familiar, it’s worth exploring support. Some of these signs might be normalized in their friend group or sport, but trust your gut; just because something is normalized, does not mean it healthy for your teen.
3. It’s Not About Vanity — It’s About Coping
Teens don’t choose eating disorders. Often, the behaviors become a way to cope with:
Anxiety
Depression
Trauma
Social pressure
Perfectionism
Feeling “not enough”
Identity changes and stress
What might start out as trying to get “healthy” or fit in with friends, can quickly spiral out of control. Restriction, binging, exercise, or control around food can temporarily numb difficult feelings, which can feel helpful to your teen in the moment, until the eating disorder is beyond what they can handle.
Seeing the eating disorder as an adaptive coping strategy, rather than defiance or attention-seeking, helps parents respond with understanding, rather than confusion.
4. Diet Culture Makes Things Murkier
Teens today grow up surrounded by:
TikTok “what I eat in a day” videos, often portraying restriction
Weight-focused sports cultures
“Clean eating” and wellness trends: these can be diet culture in disguise
School health classes focusing on calories and BMI
Peer pressure and comparison
Behaviors that get praised in our culture, cutting carbs, tracking macros, over-exercising, can actually be early signs of a disorder. Changes in diet are the most common predecessor to eating disorders.
As a parent, openly discussing diet culture and disentangling from it yourself can help offset the pressure your teen faces.
5. What To Do If You’re Worried
Here’s what helps most:
Start with a calm, nonjudgmental conversation
Instead of:
“You’re barely eating — what’s wrong with you?”
Try:
“I’ve noticed some changes and I’m concerned because I care about you. How have you been feeling lately?”
Avoid focusing on weight or appearance
Stick to behaviors and emotions. Weight comments can feed the disorder. If your teen expresses dissatisfaction with appearance, try to avoid reassurance, and focus on the feel they are communicating instead.
Seek professional support early
A team approach is often best:
Eating disorder specialized therapist
Registered dietitian
Primary care doctor or pediatrician
Early intervention improves outcomes and prevents behaviors from becoming more entrenched.
Model a compassionate relationship with food and body
Model normal eating and body kindness. This isn’t about being perfect or always your body, but it can be helpful for your teen to see you practice what you are hoping for them. If you do notice yourself making negative comments, talk about that with your teen: owning your mistakes and repairing goes a long way.
6. What Healing Looks Like
Recovery takes time, but teens are incredibly resilient. With the right support, they can:
Repair trust with their body
Build healthier coping tools
Reconnect with their identity outside of food or weight
Reclaim friendships, joy, and energy
Feel safe in their own skin again
Therapy helps teens understand the “why” beneath the behaviors and teaches them new ways to feel grounded and supported.
7. You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone
Supporting a teen with an eating disorder is emotionally heavy on parents. You deserve guidance, too. Reaching out doesn’t mean you’ve failed — it means you’re taking a powerful step toward healing.
If you’re a parent in Seattle, WA or anywhere in Washington or Massachusetts and you’re looking for trauma-informed, relational support for your teen, I’m here to help. Together, we’ll work to create safety, connection, and a path forward.
You and your teen don’t have to do this alone. Reach out for a consultation if you’re ready to take the next step toward healing.
